Whose is bigger?
by delicate-moonlight
Summary: Sango asked the question we are ALL wanting to know: Whose is bigger? What will happen when the guys find out what the girls are talking about? Whose is bigger? What does Kaede think?


Title: Whose is bigger?

Author: Delicate Moonlight

Pairings: None. Hints of Sango/Miroku, and hints of Inuyasha/Kagome

Summery: Sango asked the question we are ALL wanting to know: Whose is bigger? What will happen when the guys find out what the girls are talking about? Whose is bigger? What does Kaede think?

Disclaimer: The characters within are not mine. Never was, never will be. Just borrowing them for a little bit. You can have them back, only slightly used....

A/N:

This is my first published fan fic. Nothing really naughty going on. It was written more as a joke then anything serious. (Miroku fans please forgive me! I love him to, but my muse wanted it to go this way!!) This is an unbeta version, sorry. Don't have one.

Replies are very much welcomed. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Flames? We all get them at one point or another. ;)

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* * *

**Whose is Bigger? **

While fetching medicinal herbs for Inuyasha, with Kagome, a thought hit Sango. "So, out of Miroku, Inuyasha, Kouga and Sesshoumaru, who do you think has a bigger one?"  
  
"Dunno, but my vote goes to Inuyasha-"replied a very red faced Kagome  
  
"Of course you would!!"  
  
Kagome, flustered by Sango's reply, said: "You'd probably pick Miroku!"  
  
"Mayhap this is a conversation you two shouldn't be having...."  
  
"Kaede!!! You shouldn't be sneaking up on us!!" said a blushing Sango  
  
"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were tending to Inuyasha's wounds?" Kagome sputtered out in complete embarrassment, in hopes of changing the subject...  
  
"Nay I did not sneak up on you and I finished with him awhile ago. Inuyasha and Miroku was coming here to talk to you two about the jewel shards you found. When they stopped so suddenly and went in another direction instead, I thought something may be wrong with you. I see...they must have heard what you were talking about and decided not to talk to you."  
  
"They..h-h-heard us?!?!" Sango practically screamed.  
  
"No way! They couldn't have! Could they?"  
  
"Aye they could have and they did from the looks they had on their faces."  
  
"Um...which way did they go?" asked a nervous Sango.  
  
Kagome, shocked by Sango's question, replied: "Sango! Why would you want to know?"  
  
"We have to figure out of they heard us. We won't have to say nothing right now. I just want to follow them. They're bound to be talking about it, if they heard us."  
  
"Your right! Kaede, which way did they go?"  
  
"They went toward the great tree."  
  
"Lets go!" Sango said enthusiastically.  
  
"Yes."  
  
_Those two are mistaken. If they really want to know whose is the biggest, they should have asked me. I know. If they would think about it just a little, it is obvious..._

* * *

Inuyasha, in mock anger, said: "I can't believe they were talking about that kind of thing!!!"  
  
"I'm glad they are. That means maybe I can take this chance to get closer to Sango.."  
  
"Y-Y-You I can't believe you would!!"  
  
"Of course I would."  
  
"Hmph"  
  
"Now if I just could...and....oh yeah that would work too..." Miroku said, scheming already.  
  
"What are you mumbling about now monk?"  
  
"Just planning on how I am going to prove it."  
  
"Prove what?" Inuyasha asked dumbfounded.  
  
Grinning from ear to ear, Miroku replied: "That mine is bigger. So there is no way Sango could ever think of anyone else's."  
  
"Hmph. You wish!! Yours is probably smaller then Myoga's. Seeing as all those girls you keep chasing never really stick around. They probably seen yours and realized there wasn't anything worth sticking around for!"  
  
"Mine is bigger! I'll prove it!" Miroku said with a devilish grin.  
  
"Oh yeah! How?" Inuyasha screamed in utter shock. "Hey don't do that! I don't want to see!!! Put your robes back on!!"  
  
"See mine is defiantly bigger then Myoga's!!"  
  
"Miroku--"  
  
"Miroku!!! Cover yourself!" Sango screamed in complete shock.  
  
"S-s-ango.."  
  
"KAGOME DON'T LOOK AT HIM!" Sango said in a jealous fit.  
  
"Ha-uh- I can't help it. HE HAS NO CLOTHES ON!!"  
  
"Well this is you two's fault! If you still want to know who is bigger...Inuyasha, it's your turn."  
  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONK! DON'T TALK NONESENSE TO ME AND GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!"  
  
"I am not ashamed of my body. Why should I be? I am perfect in everyway. If you are so ashamed of your size then go ahead and don't show them!"  
  
"Should we really be here?" Kagome whispered in Sango's ear.  
  
"You want to know the truth too right? So yeah let's just wait and see if Miroku can get Inuyasha to do it."  
  
"Ya but.." Kagome said, still hesitating.  
  
"But what?"  
  
With disappointment in her voice, Kagome said: "Well, it is just that Miroku is smaller than I thought he was..."  
  
"Yeah me too. Does that mean you think Inuyasha is small too?"  
  
"Maybe.."  
  
"I CAN HEAR YOU!! DID YOU FORGET THAT MY EARS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS?!?! I HEARED EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID AND I AM NOT SMALL!!!"  
  
"If you are so sure of that why don't you just prove it Inuyasha?" Miroku said, determined to prove he is bigger.  
  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONK!!"  
  
"Come one Inuyasha, I'll help you..." Miroku said, only half joking.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME. I'LL DO IT, JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!"  
  
"Kagome. Sango. Why is Miroku naked and Inuyasha getting undressed?"  
  
"Shippou!!" said a startled and blushing Sango.  
  
With a very confused look, Shippou replied: "What Sango?"  
  
"When did you wake up?!?!" Kagome said, very nervously.  
  
"Just now, why are they naked and looking at each others—"  
  
"Ah, Shippou why don't you go find Kirara for me?" Sango said desperately.  
  
"Okay Sango." Shippou turned and left, still very confused at what he had just saw.  
  
"Whew that was close..." said a relieved Sango.  
  
"Yeah. Oh, wow look Sango I was right Inuyasha's is bigger!! Much bigger!"  
  
"Damn..." Sango replied, disappointed.  
  
"Don't look so down Sango. Thanks to Kagome always hanging on Inuyasha he walks around with a permanent hard on." Miroku said, gladly willing to give up his friend's "little" secret.  
  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONK!!"  
  
"In-Inu-Inuysha is that true?" Kagome asked happily.  
  
"Of course it is true. I wouldn't lie about this. But with your help Sango I could get bigger than Inuyasha..."  
  
"Wh-what are you saying?" A shocked Sango replied.  
  
Miroku walks up and starts to snuggle with Sango. "I am sure you could help me..."  
  
SLAP  
  
"Don't forget yourself you lech!" Screamed an angry Sango.  
  
Kagome and Sango turned and headed back to the village. To angry at the guys to even say anything more to them.  
  
"The nerve! What type of person does he think you are Sango?" Kagome said angrily.  
  
"I can't believe he tried that!" Sango said, only half angry.  
  
"But Miroku, weren't they the ones that started this?" A confused, and still naked, Inuyasha asked.  
  
Disappointed, Miroku said: "Aye they were Inuyasha... but I still get slapped..."  
  
_Those two are mistaken. Shippou is the one they should be getting close to...For when the fox child is older and ready to do such things..._  
  
"Kaede? Why is your face so red?" Myoga said with a chuckle.  
  
Trying to get the subject off of her face, Kaede asked: "Ah Myoga your back, and how was your trip?"  
  
"Well it was uneventful, without Master Inuyasha there. What is all the commotion about?"  
  
"Just another lovers spat." Kaede said with a wink.  
  
"Ha ha, as always."  
  
_Yes when the child is old enough he will make the perfect lover. For you see fox demons can change forms. So the child will be able to be any size he or his lover chooses..._  
  
Owari 


End file.
